world make me sickSince I graduated in May 2008, I’ve been going back and forth in my mind about what I want to do over the next couple of years.

What I definitely don’t want are: babies, marriage, a house.  Not that I think it’s wrong for someone in their early twenties to seek and want those things, but I can’t even buy art for my apartment because I wonder what I’m going to do with it if I jet off sometime in the near future and if I’ll even still like it when I get back.

Central things I want within the next couple of years are: travel, build a career, build my savings/investments, live in another city, learn another language.  

These things aren’t mutually exclusive, but I am struggling to find balance.  For example, travel costs money, and I want to invest money.  Travel also means time away from work, which may affect career building. These things I want require time and or money. First, I have little money saved. Second, I am impatient.  I have complicated the issue by reading books and blogs which seem to cater either to my ambitions of career building and financial security, or my attraction to the adventurous qualities of meeting new people, having new experiences and wandering all over the globe. I keep flipping back and forth between what I should be focussing on.

The other night I was trying to formulate some sort of flexible 5 year plans. I know life doesn’t follow any kind of real plan if you seize opportunities as they come, but it really helped to get some of the jumble in my brain out there.  Even then, I feel as if I can’t fit what I want to in 5 years and that I’ve wasted a chunk of my early twenties doing nothing. 

I look to my friends to see how they are balancing their lives, but I find that they fall on either side of the line I’m trying to balance.  A couple of friends are traveling and partying, while my other friends are content with a month or two abroad (or less) and are focussing on grad school, careers, and buying a house.  Maybe I only have a glimpse of what is actually going on, but these seem to be the major points of the conversations I have about this type of stuff.

Hopefully I’ll start to figure it out soonish.